Tag Archives: success

Family definitions of Success

It’s a pretty natural thing, we all want to feel successful.

And possibly surprising to many, the most successful people out there often do not feel like they are a success.  Many suffer at some stage in their life from what has been coined the Imposter Syndrome – where we feel that we may be exposed as the fraud we feel we are!

Why do you think that is?   Often, it’s because we have rules and ideas about what it means to feel successful that have been ingrained in us from childhood.

Ask yourself how success was defined by your family?  Was it about how much money you were earning?  What sort of a job you held?  If you went to university or had a degree? If you were married with children?  Had a large home?  Or just happy?  What were you taught about success all your life?  Was it related to health, wealth or happiness?

As it turns out, the most successful people just decide that they are successful, because they just are who they are and because they love what they do.  Often, they love to give back.

Success is an inner feeling, not some far off event in the future that shifts and changes, or something our parents want or how much we have in the bank.

Have a think about how you personally define success.  Will you be a success when you achieve X?  Do you feel you need X to be a success?  Maybe it’s time to evaluate all the things that already make you a success!

What does Success mean to you?

Many people don’t know what type of marker they need to reach to feel ‘successful.’

A lot define success in terms of wealth.  But if it’s just a money goal you’re striving for, chances are, it keeps changing. If it’s being married, that also moves possibly to having kids – even high achieving, brainy, successful, happy, sporty kids. If it’s owning property, that too can change.  Is one enough?  Two or three?  How big do you want this portfolio to be?  Is it having $1 million in the bank?  Or as simple as an emergency fund of $5,000 set aside?   Do you ever think, “I’ll be a success when…  ”

As it turns out, Credit Suisse advised in 2013 that Aussies are the world’s richest people, according to the median wealth of adult Australians.*

So, let’s take a step back.  Figure out what needs to happen for you to feel like you are a success. What is it for you?  Each of us have very different measurements for success.  It might be achieving and maintaining a goal weight.  Conquering a fear. A visit to a country you’ve always dreamed of going to.  A happy life partnership.  Maybe a couple of kids.  A job that pays the bills.  Inner calm.  Health.  We all have different measures – time to find out what yours is.  You might find that financial goals are way down the list.

The important thing is to give yourself plenty of ways to feel successful.  Chances are, you are already successful; you just don’t allow yourself to feel it because there’s always something else you’re focusing on.

Each day, allow yourself to feel successful. Try and relax into a whole other way of seeing what is already working for you.  Congratulate yourself that you made it through another day.  There’s food on the table, a roof over your head, some dollars in your pocket, work to be done and goals to still be met.

Many find keeping a gratitude journal and noting each day what good things happen helps them to feel content.  It’s the little things that count.  It might be as simple as not losing your cool when everything around you goes to pot!  (Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner!!)  Let that put a smile on your dial!

Without trying to sound too ‘woo woo’ – there is external success that you can choose to measure by societal or personal standards; and then there is the internal success of knowing what and who you are, and being cool with that. This is quite possibly, the ultimate measure of success.

How do you measure your personal success?  Do you feel a success already?  Or is there one thing you want to achieve for you to know you’d ‘made it?’  I’d love to hear your take on success.